Friday, September 4, 2009

The Project: Day 23 & 24

It's that time again! Wednesday & Thursday turned out only slightly less disciplined than Monday & Tuesday but I've got my really, really good excuses.

Um, yeah.

Okay, okay, there are NO truly good excuses for skipping a workout, but I did on Day 23.

Not going to apologize though & I don't feel too guilty either cuz I just picked right up again on Day 24 with the best execution of the TurboJam "FatBlaster" workout that I've done to date. Remember this is the workout with 8 "Turbos"...4 at a moderate pace and then the same 4 repeated at high intensity.

I was pausing after almost EVERY Turbo on this workout, panting and whining to my hubby that Chalene must want me dead. This time, however, I only paused ONE TIME, right after the first Turbo. Then, my energy finally seemed to start coming from my mind after all, just like Chalene says it does.

Well, now I finally believe her. So what happened on Day 23 that I opted to commit a fattie freedom foobar? Like I said, there really are no good excuses, but this was my 2nd day of work at Jason's Deli and my new employer was merciless!

Of course, I don't wish to disappoint them, so I worked like a slave for 5 hours. Consequently, my new boss said he wishes he had "5 more just like me." In my mind, I wondered if he'd order the skinnier cloned version of the Slave Louise model? Whatever.

Afterwards, I had a million things I needed to stop putting off or had to take care of: driving my little brother to work, finally getting my hubby's degree framed, getting a car charger for his iPhone like he'd asked, groceries, shower, then mountains of laundry (am I the only woman who finds herself to be the lone laundress in a house full of so-called grown ups?).

Anyway, I don't feel too bad about finally coming home and collapsing at 2am because I probably burned plenty of calories just gallivanting all over town.

Foodwise, I did better. Just over my limit on Day 23 & just under on Day 24.

Day 24 was made even more exciting & motivating for me with the first use of my new GoWearFit armband (aka bodybugg). But I'll write a more complete review this Sunday or Monday after I've had a little more time with it to make a judgment.

Speaking of making a judgment on another tool I'm using, I wanted to mention my brother Joseph's recent comment about the program from Think Right Now that I've forced him to use.

Don't know if I mentioned it, but when I ordered the I Love Exercising CD that I've used for this project, I also ordered a Real Self-Esteem Now CD, too (they had a buy 3 get 1 free deal so I also got the Eating for Excellent Health CD).

Obviously, having not a shred of self-esteem at the time, I had intended to use this for myself but opted to start with the Exercise CD first because I had come to the conclusion that just being better looking would solve most of my self-esteem hang-ups.

But my brother is a REAL MESS. While not obese like me, Joseph has too many issues to spell out here. The fact that at 26 he had not worked in a year, had been living with Mom, depending on hand-outs from his bitchy but employed girlfriend, and was now moving in with us basically says it all.

So I made one of the conditions for him to move in with us that he would have to listen to the Real Self Esteem Now CD every night he slept at our place. He grumbled and complained the first couple of nights, then he got a little worse for a day or two (which is supposed to be normal). But then he started changing in subtle small ways this past week.

He's wanting to eat healthier foods, save some of his money, he stopped skipping work, started showering daily. He even started exercising every day. His sense of humor returned and his anger stopped flaring up over every little thing.

That could have just been the effects of living with us as we only ever try to be encouraging and positive. Sometimes we fail, and he's always had a hair-trigger temper, but we're still a lot more reasonable than either Mom or his girlfriend.

Yesterday, however, he totally floored me when I was an hour late getting back from work...and he called me just to see if I was okay! He has NEVER called me--and I mean NEVER--unless he needed a favor. This means he was thinking about others.

Even crazier than that, when I drove him to work today, I was complaining about the 5 hour work day I had ahead of me, and he came back with, "yeah, but isn't it nice to kind of be on a schedule again and have something useful to do?"

Who the hell are you?! My father??? Clearly, this was an alien clone and not my formerly BEYOND LAZY brother.

But the brotherly doppelganger added, "I think this CD is starting to work for me. When Tiffany (his GF) gets all bitchy and jealous with me now, I just don't care. I don't even want to hear it."

"Oh, really?" I replied.

"Yeah. Like last night, I told her to call me back when she was done being a psycho-woman and she freaked. But I didn't get upset or hurt or anything."

Wow! God willing, the CD does really work, and this trend will continue. Then maybe, come June 21st, two lives will have been transformed with the help of these CDs.

Push ups? 19 and a half. Almost made it up again but just couldn't get that 20th. Maybe tomorrow. Wish me luck. First weigh in just 6 days away!
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Thursday, September 3, 2009

The Project: Day 21 & 22

Soooo ready for bed but I wanna get this update posted before the next one is due tomorrow. It is amazing how much a mere 5 hours work at Jason's Deli each of the last three days has taken out of me! Turns out I am lazier than I remembered.

But overall, I am feeling pretty darn good and looking forward to my weigh in on Day 30.

Let's break down Days 21 & 22....

Exercise wise, I can self-righteously proclaim myself a model of fitness fanaticism. On Monday, I did the 45 minute long TurboJam Cardio Party 2 workout. That one is INSANE but I only paused for a couple minutes about 3 times.

There were parts, though, where I was so totally lacking in coordination and grace that I could do nothing more than march in place while Chalene combined 8 different moves in rapid succession. I absolutely hate her when she does that!

However, I did not let this discourage me or use it as an excuse to quit. Perfectionism is slowly fading away. I finished the workout. Nearly killed me, but I did it!


Tuesday, Day 22, I did the FatBlaster workout again...even after an exhausting first day at my new Jason's Deli job. Surprised by how well I have already managed to memorize most of the movements. My execution is still VERY, VERY flawed...but all in good time.

Toward the end, my legs are aching so much from the Turbos that I am forced to workout at a lower intensity. On the bright side, during Tuesday's workout I noticed that my back blubber no longer quakes when I bounce like a pan full of pudding!

As a matter of fact, that blasted fat fold in the center of my back all we fatties love to loathe is so diminished on me now, it no longer folds over completely when I'm standing up like it once did. That feels good, let me tell you.

My new pants are really starting to loosen up around the waist, too. Or else I've stretched them out. Hard one to call!

Foodwise, I did awesome, too, on both days. See! No drama = no pigging out.

Funny how that works.

Stayed just shy of my recommended 1479 calories. But I could not wait to get my GoWearFit armband and start using it to see if I am REALLY burning enough calories to lose 2 lbs per week. Today was my first day to use the armband but I'll write about that in my next Project update.

And finally, after three weeks of consistent use of the I Love Exercising CD & Mind Movies, I have no doubt that these two programs are completely remolding my mind. If they hadn't come with six month and lifetime refund guarantees I might have never tried these things, even as desperate as I had become. But now I feel I won't be asking for my money back...and can only imagine how much better things will continue to get for me.

Where else is all this coming from?....

  • daily increasing energy
  • no excuses attitude on getting exercise
  • respect for my body even as it is now
  • lack of concern for others thoughts about my body
  • frequent desire all of a sudden to take long walks
  • the way I instantly forgive myself if I do miss a workout or eat too many calories and just keep going
  • urge to keep from sitting around doing nothing (not even watching movies!)
  • and the laughter and fun I experienced during these last two workouts and some of the others (freaking WEIRD!)

None of the above behavior is anything like the normal pre-project Louise. Especially not the energy part or the part about not caring what others think about my body. When I started this project just three weeks ago, I was OBSESSED with what other people thought of my looks.

Practically every time someone looked at me and didn't give me that second glance, I almost cried imagining how they must be thinking what a fattie I am. And I was very lethargic. It took every ounce of will power and energy I had to do my daily workout.

But now I only occasionally think about the opinions of others, and then for just a second or two. No need to cry. And even with this very physically demanding job I took on after sitting on my ass for 7 months or so, I am coming home to work out and get EVERYTHING done around the house like I plan to.

However, I still can't fit into that 3rd pair of pants I bought and definitely not even in my old size 14. But it'll happen. Just gotta keep going with this thing. Most definitely still the chunky FatAss, but I'm finally starting to enjoy myself with this thing. Finally starting to believe I can truly reach the goal I've set...without any pills, powders or surgeries.

Mind power, exercise, and portion control might honestly turn out to be all I needed after all.

We'll see, won't we?

Push-ups? 19. Something looking remarkably like muscle is shyly emerging from my arms now. About damn time!
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Monday, August 31, 2009

FatAss Is "Armed" With New Weapon in the War on Frump

One of my bodacious blog readers from Twitter @ChristinaThomas (she's bodacious, my blog's just black & fat...check out her Blogger profile here but don't hate her cuz she's beautiful ;-P) suggested I try using the armband from www.GoWearFit.com (also called a Body Bug, I think) to help me track exactly how many calories I'm burning each day.

Checked out the video and other information on their site. Decided it could be a helpful supplement to my calorie consumption tracking at The Daily Plate. After all, what if I am burning way fewer calories than they suggest on their site?


This I need to know so as to meet my goal of 2 pounds of blubber bombed per week. Okay, okay. Who am I kidding? I wanna know if I can get away with eating a little more!


I promised that once I got a J-O-B I would buy the armband, and so I did. I got the package for $165 which doesn't include the wristwatch, but I think I can live without that for now. Also, I used the promo code of EMPDISCEEE to get an additional 10% off.

A good thing, too, cuz they gouged me on shipping. Plus, there is a $7 monthly charge to access the online account manager (which you need or the armband is pretty worthless).


If anyone knows a more beneficial $$$ promo code, please share and I'll pass it on here on the blog.

Just arrived today. For that reason, I cannot recommend it to any one else at the moment, having not had the opportunity to work with it yet myself. However, you know I'll keep you posted. If I love it, and feel it made a difference, I'll add it to my list of tools in the sidebar for everyone. Read more!

The Project: Day 19 & 20

One additional benefit of plotting all of my eating and drinking habits on The Daily Plate is that I am finally able to pinpoint real patterns. These last two days made it clear that family stress and overeating--at least for me--go hand-in-hand. Plus, I also know exactly what it is I crave in these situations.

What happened on Saturday after I posted my last project update was this: I did go and TurboJam as hard as I could, but it was not enough to overcome the anxiety I felt from being with my mother- and father-in-law. They did interrupt me in the guest room to ask what on earth I was doing, to which I rather rudely--I'll admit it--replied, "what if Anthony and I had been screwing?!"

After all, they are so keen on getting grandkids out of us, you'd think they'd respect our privacy when we're alone behind ANY closed doors...even when it is their house.

Anyway, as you can imagine, this smart ass comment did not endear me any more to the Wallace's. Consequently, once I finished my work out and we rejoined them in the living room, they gave me the silent treatment.

At dinner--a very bland affair as Mr. Wallace has too poor a digestive system to allow his wife's enormous cooking talents full expression--Mrs. Wallace spoke endlessly of her daughter, Marie, and the child she is expecting which will be named Jack.

Perhaps it was just my bitter miscarriage wounds flaring up, but it seemed like this soon-to-be first time grandmother couldn't shut up about all the precautions little miss perfect Marie was taking to ensure her pregnancy carried to term.

It's silly, but I just stared at my plate and swallowed back the tears that threatened.

I've been married almost 6 years while Marie just got married last October and in less than a year she's got a house, a baby on the way, and has taken two fabulous vacations. I hate myself for being envious of her, especially since I know she's 35, a chainsmoker, drinks like a fish, has put on 30 pounds herself (pre-baby), is several hundred thousand dollars in debt, and is married to an ugly, bald, pot-bellied wimp.

Sigh.

Who can explain it? This is the behavior of a small-minded, insecure person. So I should stop it. It's just kind of hard when someone else manages to get everything you'd like for yourself--even though they went about it the wrong way. You sort of feel stupid, even though you know the only reason you don't have all the things you'd like yet is that you are trying to approach them in the smartest way possible.

Forgive me. I am still so weak, something I hope the successful completion of this project will help remedy...at least partially.

After dinner, I rushed off to Braums for a small chunky chocolate cheesecake milkshake...and ended up being 500 calories over my target of 1479.

The good news in all of this is that now I know to expect an urge to gorge when I am in stressful family situations AND I know I will crave chocolate. So what I have done now is stocked my pantry with some small one-bite brownies for these emergencies. Normally, I don't eat cookies, cakes, ice creams and other sweet junk (except tea). That's why at almost 28 I still have ZERO cavities.

But, now we know I WILL most assuredly want to choke down some chocolate sweet junk when the drama is on. These brownies are much lower in calories than chocolate ice cream and more filling.

Drove home on Day 20 and stayed under my calorie target for the day. We'll just consider Day 19 to have been my SINday instead. Did not workout, however, just cleaned up, unpacked, did laundry, showered and nagged my little brother.

Did have enough energy for my hubby yet again. Still in the dark (and still not confident enough to perform any of my thin fantasies) and this time very quietly as my little brother was in the other room.

Happy to say that I am definitely finding myself more energetic in general, and more comfortable with sharing my body with Anthony as often as I should. I credit the I Love Exercising CD for that because it has a couple of statements relating to feeling increasing energy and being comfortable in one's own skin. Felt strange sleeping without it Friday & Saturday night.

Push-ups? 18, though that last one is REAL HARD coming!

Had a deliriously happy little moment this morning when I ran my hands down my back and over my butt (putting on lotion) and felt less of a shelf and more of a slope attached where my cute little ghetto booty used to abide. Even with the occasional missed workout and pig-out pity parties I can feel that my body is responding--albeit grudgingly--to my efforts.

Shout out to my kick-butt friends on twitter @sueperfly27 @thismomsguide @nevisblack @baby_phfat @ChristinaThomas @LittleMissScoop and others there and on this blog for the blessings of your support, advice, kicks to the FatAss, and for having the courage to undertake your own projects. You have helped me more than you know.
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Sunday, August 30, 2009

Working this FatAss - With A J-O-B!

That's right! I was wrong and the world is willing to hire a FatAss like me after all.

Nothing glorious but I got accepted for a job at Jason's Deli in Irving, Texas. 8 measly dollars per hour, too. Haven't made so little since I was a teenager! But I have put in dozens of applications elsewhere since I got laid off in January with no offers...so this will have to do, for now. On the bright side, this'll have my ass moving a whole lot more.

And let's get real, I LOVE eating at Jason's Deli...now I can do it for free! My wobbly bits are all aquiver over this perk.

Very timely, too. My husband was starting to get a bit antsy, what with our savings being almost depleted, but especially in light of the two awesome & exciting events coming up for us now in the next year. I'll write about those in my next post. Let's just say I am thrilled to death and it doesn't matter where I work.

In fact, the whole purpose of my employment here is to build our savings back up to $5000. What do we plan to do once we hit our mark? Tell you laters! (And I'm looking forward to your advice.)
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