Saturday, August 29, 2009

The Project: Day 17 & 18

Alrighty, must make it a quicker update for the last two days as I am so unfortunate as to find myself sitting in my in-laws' living room in Oklahoma today.

Don't want them to get wind of what I'm doing. After all, they'd be disappointed to know that one of their favorite reasons for looking down on, feeling sorry for me, & for nagging me in general is on its last legs.

But these people deserve their own post, so let's get back to the update.

Push-ups? 17! Still on my knees. Shooting for a complete set of 20 on my knees and then I'll aim for a set of 20 WITHOUT the use of my knees.

Thank goodness my family decided to stop acting like nincompoops for these 2 days. I have enjoyed a renewed peace and focus.

However, my left knee was killing me! Might have been a little too zealous in my TurboJam bouncing. Whatever the case, I decided to just do REALLY long walks on Thursday & Friday to avoid straining my knee further.
Did you know that walking only 2 miles per hour burns 220 calories every hour? Good news for me!

Then, my handsome hubby cleverly supplemented these hour long neighborhood tramps with some nookie, so I got that exercise in, too. ;-)

Yes, still in the dark...but with a lot more energy on my part than usual.

As far as my eating habits, being no longer threatened with frantic family dramatics, I was better able to refrain from gorging on everything in sight and stayed under my 1479 calorie allowance for both days...but just barely! After all, I still LOVE food...whether I've got an "excuse" to eat or not is of little importance.

I've discovered Schlotzsky's and their wonderful 300 calorie small chicken sandwiches...a nice change up from Chick-fil-a for when I feel like fast food instead of home made. Even cooler, I no longer feel the need to eat side items anymore like chips or soups.

It is like the more exercise I get, the more satisfied I become from less and less food. And I'm even craving better foods like apples and broccoli.

Very weird indeed. Quite un-Louise-ish.

But it's not all good news. Ashamed to say I am giving way on some of the principles I so fiercely and pigheadedly advocated before I had to start making myself eat less. While I am growing more and more at peace with a water and tea drinks only policy, I still sometimes have an overwhelming craving for soda.

For the first time these past two weeks, I gave in to that craving yesterday and drank a 20 oz Coke. But what shames me most is that it was DIET Coke...diet, with its chemical sweetener I KNOW to be dangerous and unhealthy.


Worried about going over my calorie count, and too weak to ignore my soda craving (only because I was feeling sorry for myself about having to blow a gorgeous weekend with my snotty in-laws...why can't Anthony visit them by himself?), I felt the diet soda would save me some guilt.
See, I love excuses to eat more!

But it didn't save me anything really. I feel guilty as hell for backing out on my principles and it tasted nasty. Strangely, this didn't stop me from drinking it all.

Oh, well. It's over. Now to just survive this weekend. Got my laptop and my TurboJam videos. Also my Mind Movie. Had to leave the I Love Exercising CD at home. It'd just freak the Wallace's out. They are very close-minded, hyper-critical people
(of others, never themselves).

This post is so colorless...like my in-law's home. They have too many creams, browns & woods. All Earth elemental if we're looking at it from a feng shui perspective. Which means stability, unchanging, and anxiety.

This suits them but I swear its sapping my creativity. Yeah! It's their fault!


Seriously, what was bugging me most about coming up to see them wasn't their personalities. If I am to be honest with myself, I was more concerned with how I have gained 20 pounds since our last visit 5 months ago. I knew they'd give me grief about it. And they did. In a mean way, too, not a we're-so-worried-about-you way. If that makes sense.

Grr! Well, what's the best cure for stress and pent up angst? Exercise baby!!! I'm gonna go TurboJam in their guest room...and crank the music way up (so they can't hear my cursing at Chalene).

On a positive note, my new jeans are fitting so much more loosely and I KNOW my hips, butt & tummy are feeling smaller. Can't wait to get the hell back to Texas, but I can't wait for my weigh in on Day 30 even more!

Til next time, I love all you girls & guys out there, trying to get your own "Sexyback" going on. I salute you.
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Friday, August 28, 2009

Got (or Had) Baby Fat?

My Twitter friend @aspiringmama is writing a book about how women lose their weight gained after a pregnancy.

She is looking for ladies who have had this experience that she can use as examples in her book.

If you think you've got something to say about this subject, please visit her website at
http://aspiringmama.com/?p=58 to learn more about her project.

Then contact her through there or Twitter at @aspiringmama or @baby_phfat

Let's help this nice lady out, shall we?
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Exciting Things Coming Up (And a New Motivation)

As promised, I must share the two exciting bits of news that have lately rocked my world.

The first is pretty minor I guess in the scheme of an average life, but nevertheless thrilling to me. My MILF of a mother & her flavor of the week, Scotty-poo (as we call him), were planning a ski vacation to Red River, New Mexico for January 2nd - 7th. He, like her long string of other dutiful little boyfriends, is paying for the whole thing.

Scott had also invited his sister and her boyfriend, who for some reason canceled on him. So guess who my crazy Mom persuaded him to take along instead?

ME!!! And Anthony. All bills paid. We only have to cover our food and buy our own clothes. Now here we come to the point of why this has excited me.

Ski clothes. I am determined to look hot enough in my ski clothes that I will be willing to allow someone to photograph me on this novel occasion. I won't have totally hit my goal in time, but I should look better than I have in - like - forever.

Having avoided all but the most necessary pictures in recent years, there are a lot of special events and trips no one would know I was a part of because I shamefully shied away from the camera to try and preserve my threadbare sense of self-worth.

I don't wanna do that anymore. Being a part of it all and having great photos to look back on are what good times and traveling is all about to me. Missing out on photo opportunities is just one more thing I've miserably sacrificed on the alter of fattie-hood...and I AM SICK AND TIRED OF IT!

So come this January, when Louise sets out on those bunny slopes in her colorful, sexy & sassy little outfit to ski for the first time in her life (or to snowboard, haven't decided), she will have her picture taken to prove she was there. And one day, maybe her grandkids will get a look at it and rave about how beautiful she looked against the snowy backdrop.

Trust me...this is TREMENDOUSLY motivating for me and I am SO grateful to Scottie-poo for his unwitting contribution to my Frumpy FatAss Project.

But the 2nd bit of news is probably more life changing....

WE'RE MOVING OUT OF TEXAS...at last!

I've always felt that where a person grows up was their parent's choice. But whatever made your home town or state or country right for them does not mean it will be the right place for you...that there isn't another place out there more in tune with your own unique vibration.

After almost 6 years of
marriage, I've convinced my husband of this, too. Once he committed, things just started lining themselves up perfectly to aid us in achieving our plans to move no later than when our current lease expires at the end of July 2010.

How do we plan to move? That's why I'm working at Jason's Deli. Saving up the $5000 we believe should help us catch any and all expenses involved. Then, we'll just drive & hire a moving truck.

Just WHERE and WHEN are the real questions and the answers depend on one thing. Anthony has been faithfully working these past 5 years with his best friend from college on a business they built together. Anthony was reluctant to move earlier because he didn't want to abandon his friend. A promise made is a promise kept, ya know?

However, since he was 16 he has known that his great dream is to run his own game store. He plays a tabletop strategy game called Warhammer 40k by a company named Games Workshop. The Regional Director knows and loves him, even asked him to work for him a couple years ago. At the time he turned him down because he couldn't abandon his friend, David, plus he did not wish to work for Games Workshop at any level lower than store manager.

Now, all of a sudden, David has agreed that he could keep the company going if Anthony were willing to at least work for him as a consultant. This he could do from anywhere, needing only a phone.

At the same time, Games Workshop is undergoing expansion and is hiring Hobby Store Managers all over the US, including my cherished target city, Seattle. And the Regional Director has encouraged Anthony to apply, saying he would call the corporate office personally to put in a good word for him.

Anthony, therefore, has applied for Hobby Store Manager in 8 different cities. This is where the question of WHERE and WHEN we'll move gets foggy.

If Games Workshop hires him, they will choose what city we move to out of the following options, listed in order of my preference: Seattle, San Francisco, LA, Chicago, DC, Baltimore, Detroit & Houston. Plus, they will need to train him in Baltimore for 4 months. This means we are likely to move in no less than 4 months but maybe as late as next August.

While I don't like not getting to choose the timing or place of our move, this is still the most preferred outcome as it will ensure my hubby's happiness. Seems like he was made for this position and this company.

However, if he is not hired by Games Workshop at this time (because you can bet your ass we'll keep trying every year of his life till he gets this job), then we will DEFINITELY move to the Seattle area as soon as we have amassed the $5000. Lease be damned!

The best part of all this is that when we move, Anthony has agreed to allow me to donate almost everything we own to Good Will. We'll be starting with a totally clean slate for our new home & our new life.

Gone will be the pellmell collection of belongings from two young lives thrown together 6 years ago...

...all the hand-me-downs from well-meaning friends and relatives...
...all the faded and worn and torn and broken bits of clutter and junk...
...all the dumpster diving prizes and garage sale fodder young people are apt to collect when trying to fill their first apartments with more than a matress and TV trays...
...all the purchases made from mere impulses or urgent necessity or price-consciousness instead of from careful planning and strong desire and thinking "what do I want" first, then figuring out how to get what we want...
...and anything else taking up space that I am not 100% in love with.

All of this will go.

Though it will take time, money & patience to fill up our new home and wardrobes from scratch, piece-by-wondrous-piece, it will be worth it. The result will be a perfectly harmonious home that is completely our own, stamped only with the personality of our unique marriage, not haunted by the energies and ghosts of a thousand other lives.

Finally, since we will be leaving Texas, Anthony has promised me we will at last buy our first house. No more apartments for us for more than another year-and-a-half.

You might be able to imagine how dizzy and nuts I am from all this, coming at me so fast and furious!

But remember how I felt like getting my health and fitness back was the first and most important thing in effecting positive changes in all other areas of one's life?

This trip and our move have only come up since I started this project. This might be proof that my theory is correct! Or further proof that the Mind Movie really does help in "attracting" whatever you choose to focus it on.

Either way, I am PSYCHED!

Look out New Mexico & Washington, one soon-to-be former Chunky-Dunker coming at ya!
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Thursday, August 27, 2009

The Project: Day 13, 14, 15 & 16

TOO MUCH DRAMA describes the last 4 days, and I am sad to tell you I buckled under the pressure.
Sorry the update for Days 13 & 14 is coming so late but once I describe what was going on maybe you'll forgive me.

Also, this update is so much longer (since it covers 4 days and a lot of personal drama) so I've provided a very brief BOTTOM LINE SUMMARY at the bottom of this post for those who'd prefer to skip the longer details (just click on "Read More" and scroll to bottom of page).

Remember how I pointed out in the beginning that I figured out I'm an emotional eater? Well! When the shit hit the fan on Monday & then again on Wednesday that little demon came out again to tell me, "I'm still here, fatty!"

Okay, so here's a review of the last 4 days & my pathetic record of backsliding & weakness:

Day 13

I thought, since I had been doing so well and had been steadily cleaning up my eating thanks to The Daily Plate as well as becoming a more faithful & enthusiastic exerciser thanks to the I Love Exercising CD & Mind Movie, I'd allow myself one day a week of eating ANYTHING I wanted without worrying about the casualties to my jiggle-bowl tummy or the proliferation of cellulitic land mines on my thighs.

One girl on Twitter calls Sunday her "Sin Day" and that sounds good to me.

So for my SINday I ate 2684 calories (my daily allowance is 1479) and only did the TurboJam "Ab Jam" workout (which really works the whole trunk but is pretty non-aerobic).

But I'd like you to note that I DID workout - no excuses!

I'm convinced this would have all been okay, and I would have bounced right back on track on Monday...but then Murphy came disguised as my precious little brother, Joseph.

Day 14

Saying little brother is misleading. He is 2 years younger than I, but at 6'2" and 289 lbs. he can be pretty scary when he's upset (a random thought of the Hulk "you won't like me when I'm angry" - giggle)...and that is exactly what he was on Monday.

He's living with me and Anthony for a bit while he gets his shit together and because he has totally worn out his welcome everywhere else.

Monday, he needed me to drive him to the courthouse (he has no car & a suspended license) to pay his monthly court cost fee by 430pm or else he claims he'd be thrown in jail for violating his probation. Now, he doesn't tell me the urgency of his situation until an hour before this place closes. But he needs a money order to pay this thing with, and tells me he can get them for free at his favorite check cashing place. So we go.

***PERSONAL RANT: Check cashing places, in my opinion, are blood-sucking parasites who oppress the poor and the ignorant, like my brother. I loathe these places and have NEVER and will never use one for myself or my own family. But, since my brother has written hot checks at banks and has not paid the banks back, other banks won't do business with him so he turned to these bloodsuckers.***

Trying to help him get out of paying all their fees, Anthony and I have opened a savings account with him at our credit union. When ever he needs to pay for anything we just let him use our debit card and then transfer the money later.

But guess what?

This place not only wanted to charge me $3 for using my DEBIT card (turns out money orders were only free with cash and their ATM charge was $6), but in order to get the money order they wanted to make a photocopy of my debit card AND drivers license to keep on file "for auditing purposes."

In fact, they'd made the copies before I was even informed what they intended to do.

I flipped.

I demanded these copies be given to me to destroy and that they cancel the money order charge. But the girl had not been trained on how to cancel charges, no managers were present, and she wouldn't let me have the money order if she couldn't keep the debit card/DL copy she had made.

Incredibly, she informed me that if I wanted a refund I'd have to call back at 5pm to ask for one...but oh, she wasn't going to give me a copy of the receipt as proof showing I'd been charged the $143 already.

Bless her...Iris at Ace Check Cashing actually tried to get me to just accept this!

Can you believe it?! What ludicrous, half-baked bull shit!

I insisted she call her manager and cancel this charge, which she finally did, but this whole ordeal took 30 minutes and we were running out of time.

To make a long, long, tiring story shorter, we just barely made it to the courthouse in time for Joseph to pay his fee. However, he was treating me like I was to blame for all of his problems today, snapping at me and telling me to hurry up the whole way there.

When we got home and he started clipping his toe nails onto my carpet and I asked him to please do this over a trash can, he was so unbelievable as to tell me to leave him alone and stop being rude - couldn't I see he was on the phone (with his co-dependent, jealous as hell, lived with her grandparents til she was 26 girlfriend)? That was the proverbial last straw, my friends.

Losing all pretense of acting like a lady, I told him to get the *FUCK* out of our house.

There was no way I would put up with being treated like his servant when all we ever do is try and help his gross, ungrateful, self-centered little punk ass.

He exploded. I thought he was going to beat the hell out of me but he just stayed in the bathroom crying and scratching up his arms and neck. Anthony finally calmed him down and got him to apologize and pick up his toe nails. He explained he was just so scared of messing up his probation and of his girlfriend cheating on him that he took it out on me.

I accepted his apology (I'm an easy forgiver & never hold a grudge) and rescinded my demand that he vacate our home. But this is why I don't have to watch TV...I get plenty of drama from my extended family.

Please tell me I'm not the only one with dumb ass hicks for family.

I felt so drained and depressed after all of this, that I skipped my work out and went to Braums to drown my sorrows in white chocolate coconut ice cream. Total calories for Day 14: 2120

Day 15

There's nothing a good night's sleep doesn't help. Moods were higher on Tuesday and I made up for my emotional binging. Plus, I know this CD is getting to me because I felt next to NO guilt about my failures the day before. My thought was "just keep moving forward, Louise, its worth it, you'll win!"

Lots of exercise: walked for 1 hour with hubby, did the whole intense TurboJam "Fat Blaster" and even made whoopee (though still only in total darkness!).

After all these workouts my net calories for the Day was 907. Low, but I had been uncharacteristically super-active. And I'm starting to WANT to eat less now.

Day 16

Little brother drama of a different kind. First thing in the morning, my brother gets up and goes to the bathroom. 30 minutes later, I FREAKED when he came out, stumbling and crying from severe pain in his lower right abdomen.

My brother eats nothing but pure unadulterated shit most of the time, with tons of meat and cheese to boot. I was scared to death he was suffering from an attack of appendicitis.

I drove like a fiend (for a change) to the emergency room where they subjected my brother to nothing but sarcasm, "professional" apathy, and a seeming lack of interest in the potential urgency of my brother's complaint. I wanted to wring their necks when they started asking my brother for his drivers license even as he doubled over and fell onto the floor in agony.

***PERSONAL RANT: This is why I only see naturopathic doctors. I resented having to subject my brother to the burnout and unfeelingness, the haughtiness and disdain, the systematic assembly line approach that is conventional medicine. Since triage and diagnosis are the only services I think conventional "modern" medicine holds any use for, the Las Colinas Medical Center was the best place for him to be in this instance.***

Another long story short, we spent 6 hours there just for them to numb him, put him on an IV, do a urinalysis, give him a CT scan and check for a hernia. They found nothing but some bacteria in his urine and suggested he might have a kidney infection. Then they dismissed him.

I brought him home and put him on the Kidney Bladder herbal formula from Dr Schulze at HerbDoc.com (this helped me cure my chronic bladder infections over 3 years ago and they've never come back). He is drinking only water and seems better today.

And while I was grateful my little brother was alright, I pigged out (2008 calories) and went to bed early at 8pm. No workout.

Sorry so long...and so damn whiny. I'll avoid missing a scheduled update for the future and I'm sure I'll get over this low feeling here pretty quick.

BOTTOM LINE SUMMARY:

Family drama still triggers emotional eating and skipping workouts. I went over my calories 3 out of 4 days and only worked out 2 days so I may have set myself back a little but ONLY by a little. All is well today and I will press on.

Push-ups are still 16 and I'm still waiting on that first wonderful "you're losing weight" compliment. However, making my goal of 76 pounds by June 21st is looking more and more like a real possibility and I can't weight to check my first 30 days results here in two weeks...or for my brother to move out.

Til then, "Bring it, baby!"
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Wednesday, August 26, 2009

Naturally Enhance Breast Growth | LIVESTRONG.COM


Naturally Enhance Breast Growth | LIVESTRONG.COM

Shared via AddThis

Found this on that website that I've been raving about www.TheDailyPlate.com (aka www.LiveStrong.com). The one @thismomsguide pointed out for me.

Looks like those push-ups I've been doing will benefit more than my bye-bye arms (you know what bye-bye arms are, right? That's when your flabby triceps wave goodbye, too)....they might help make my meager melons more prominent, too!!! Read more!

Sunday, August 23, 2009

The Project: Day 11 & 12

Things are firming up! Literally.

Push-ups? Still 16. But....

My thighs & butt are taking on some shape already & more firm than they've been for a few years. Call me crazy, but I even think there is less cellulite on the front & back of my thighs, too.

Damn, these workouts are AWESOME! I did the TurboJam "FatBlaster" on Day 11 & then yesterday on Day 12 I did the 45-minute-long "Cardio Party Mix 1." Yep, that's right. 45 frigging minutes of bouncing & sweating with Chalene & her magical Wonder Bra.

For both workouts, I still have to pause 4 to 6 times for a minute or two to prevent cardiac arrest. But I do finish them.

This feels wonderful. Even more crazy, after the 45 minute "Cardio Party" last night I was seriously thinking about jumping into the 30-minute "Ab Jam" but then my hubby came home & we had to go pick up my little brother from work.

Is that not INSANE?! I was not kidding when I said I HATE TO EXERCISE. I really do. Or did. But somewhere in the middle of my workout last night drudgery transformed into an almost fun challenge. That's how it felt.

And I have started talking to myself during workouts, too.

Not just swearing either. I was yelling things like "Bring it, bitch!" when Chalene announced it was time for a Turbo. I was telling myself to get up & finish. Keep going. You're doing great, Louise.

Very cool. Dare I credit the I Love Exercising CD for such a swift transformation from hating exercise to starting to enjoy it? I think I must now. There is no other rational explanation. I mean, I've had a workout routine before without the help of this CD but NEVER started to act & feel about it like I am now. It seems my mind really is absorbing the statements being said on this CD while I sleep.

These are some of those statements I feel have been made a part of me now:
  • I now reject all excuses for not working out
  • I'm now free of all boredom during exercise
  • I choose persistent action and perseverance over giving up every time
  • The harder I work out, the better I feel
  • I'm a great coach and trainer to myself during my workouts
That last one must explain me talking to myself all of a sudden!

Thank the Creator!

Also, on the food front, I have stayed under the 1479 calories recommended for me by The Daily Plate site for 3 days now. Logged ALL of my food, too. Even a stick of gum I chewed. Though it seems I am getting way too much sodium every day and that is definitely not good.

No compliments from anyone else noticing any change but it is still too soon for that. Here's to Days 13 & 14. Wishing all my friends out there even more success with their Projects!
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