Sunday, November 29, 2009

You Look Like Sisters

Once upon a time (ie before I became the bloated babe I am today), when I heard this comment, people were comparing me to the likes of Tori Amos or Kate Winslet. In fact, I attended a Tori Amos concert when I was 19 and kept getting bombarded by other fans who mistook me for the artist we were all there to see.

Like she'd be walking around buying her own concert T-shirts! Get real.

Anyway, my boyfriend at the time was more flattered than I, let me tell you. He strutted around like a peacock with a golden goddess at his side the whole night.

About 3 years later, my own mother-in-law, noticing a pic of Tori Amos on my fridge, exclaimed over what a nice picture that was of me. Might they have a copy to display in their home? Ha! My in-laws were flabbergasted when I informed them that was in fact a picture of one of the most bad-ass piano rockstars in all creation...not me.

But thanks! And that was the last time.

Nowadays, no one compares me to ANYONE at all. It came to me that this was true when some of the people I work with at Whole Foods began to suggest that me and one of the cashiers "look like sisters."

(oh yeah, I quit Jason's Deli by the way and I'm now at Whole Foods...so much more in line with my personality and my goals.)

Anyways, it struck me that it had been ages since I had heard such a comment. And woe is me, how the objects of comparison have changed!

So what is this chick like they're comparing me to?

The only somewhat common features we share are red hair, light eyes, and yes - to my deep regret - a burgeoning backside. Oh, and we're both white. That's it! But even in these parallels we are so dissimilar, in my opinion.

First, her red is a most unnatural dyed red that goes not at all well with her tanned white skin. Secondly, thanks to my weight releasing efforts, I can say with confidence that she is much larger than I am, too, and she has an enormous chest. Finally, her eyes are a pale, flat ice blue and she wears gobs and gobs of makeup.

To me, I am still more alike in appearance to Tori Amos than I am to this coworker, who is the raunchiest sort of girl. So raunchy in fact, I believe that were she fit herself, she'd be a stripper for sure and would blend in nicely in that environment.

Perhaps this sounds harsh and catty, but you haven't met this chick...nor have you seen me when I'm in a healthy shape.

My eyes are a multi-colored blue-green with flecks of gold and a golden brown ring around the pupil (my grandmother called them fairy eyes). My hair is a much more natural-looking red gold that matches my translucent white skin like I was born with it (instead of picking up shade 764 from Revlon, as I do). My face is mostly round with a slight point at the chin and with very prominent blushing cheeks and full lips. For makeup I go with bareescentuals mineral makeup applied lightly. And you've heard me whine about how small my chest is.

All these features I STILL share with Tori Amos (with the exception of the hair as most times she goes for a less natural red dye herself). But what I lost and what she had the fortitude to maintain is my once gloriously fit and healthy body.

Because of this one thing NO ONE sees the rockstar goddess in me anymore. No one looks at me and thinks of Tori. Instead, they think of this gross, dull, tacky-ass chick I work with and say we "look like sisters."

We...LOOK...LIKE...SISTERS.

And while the resemblances between her and I are so far removed, and between Tori and I are still so close, I have to be honest with myself and admit that what people are truly noticing first...is my figure.

If this post sounds sort of bitter and angry...well, I am a little. But I will now shake off this insult to my efforts and the success I've achieved so far and keep moving on. I'm bringing sexy back, baby! It's time to TurboJam.

1 comment:

  1. I hope you've still got that pic of Tori Amos on your fridge to inspire you! Don't worry I know you'll get there eventually, you sound so determined. And you have much more confidence in your ability to lose weight than I do. Suppose I should believe in myself a bit more! LittleMissScoop x

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Go on. Tell me how disgusting you think I am. Or how wonderful. I can take it.